tHe uLtimaTe PJ's...

What is the opposite of Santa??

















Its IODEX...



Know why??














coz Santa "sardaar" hai,
n Iodex "asardaar" hai...

Q: If Bill Gate's mother gets bored, What will u call her?
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MOTHER-BOARD!

Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
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Simple!
The Latter is Vaccinated...!!

Dharam Paaji subscribed to Hutch. But the hutch network did not follow him.
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Bcoz the Dog was afraid,
'Kutte! Main tera khoon pee jaunga.'

Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple???
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Give it a shot....
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MARUTI 800!!!
(Maruti is just another name of Lord Hanumaan)

Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'?
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ANS:
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye....

Q1) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT.


Q2) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant?
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A: Group discussion when he is alone.

Q: Do u know what is the meaning of PYAR?
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Some friends sitting on the table in a BAR.....
& saying.....
"P - YAAR"

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
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Think Think....
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Its because....
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Monday is a Weak Day....

Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?
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Because UTI bank is now Axis bank. Shruti ---Shraxis

What did baby corn ask mom corn???

















































Where is Pop corn?

WHOS DA ONLY PLAYER WHO KNOS EACH N EVRY RELIGIOUS SONG?

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HAR-BHAJAN-SINGH

Ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
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..."CASIO???"...(kaisi-ho?)

Itna ghatia PJ dhoondh ke bataoooo……

What is the hindi Meaning of injustice????
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Nine-safi !!!!

There was a pregnant lady...
who was carrying a baby girl within her...
the baby girl was blessed..
she could see what was going on outside..
she could also see her future...
one day, she saw a lady named Sapna driving a tata nano, Sapna was also
pregnant with a baby ..
a boy..
this boy was to become the baby girl's
boyfriend in the future...


what did the baby girl sing ???


















"nano me sapna..sapne mei sajna..sajnape dil aa gaya...ke sajna pe dil aa gaya..

Guess what's the color of Frequency...
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Its Purple..
y???
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coz.. Freq=1/Time

Time=>sec

n sec = "pal"

so Freq=1/pal

which is equal to PerPal... "Purple" :)

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. 

The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. 

She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.


When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"


"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

Why do we call Lemon a Nimboo???
















We should say it Lime-boo...


















y???


















Coz it doesn't have a Neem Smell...


its Neem-boo...



Well thats y it should be Lime-boo....

Coz its lime in inside... :P

Yeah its my creativity, dont kill me after reading this...

An "e" way of wishing holi...

Call the person for Chat..

Start the conversation very nicely n sweetly with all wonderful words...

The other person will start "blushing.."

Soon the person will turn RED...

Lo ji bann gai holi...

Without touching u made the other person turn RED, thats e-holi.....

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...



Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."

Y in a party we are provided with Limited Food when we book the party for an Unlimited one???
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coz in an unlimited party the food is limited...
"Ann-Limited"
(Ann=Food)

Agar aapko ek raste ko ko beech main se kaatna ho to kaise kaatenge?????
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hum Hans denge....
Batao Kyu?
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Kyunki Haste Haste Katt jae raste... :D

Ek baar 3 sardaar Railway Station pe khade the...
Jaise he train aayi teenon jhuk gaye...
batao kyuuuuu??????/
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Kyuki train keh rahi thi...
"Jhuk Jhuk Jhuk Jhuk..."

Aisi kaunsi cheez hai jo Ravan akele karr sakta hai but Ram nahi???
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Batao batao...
Socho socho..
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nahi pata??
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GD(Group Discussion)...

Batao "Tonga" itna dheere kyu chalta hai?


























Kyunki usme sirf 1 Horse Power hoti hai...

Interviewer: Just imagine, you are on 3rd floor, it caught fire and there is no way to go out. How will u escape???
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Sardar(After much of thinking): Its simple, I will stop my "imagination".

Sardaar: Arre light chali gayi kam se kam fan to chalao...

Sardarni: Lo karr di na sardaron wali baat, Fan chalaungi to mombatti nahi bhujh jaegi...

Sidhu ki maa ko gussa kab aata hai??

















































socho socho




























jab vo laughter challange mein has has ke kehta hai "bas kar mere baap"

Ek beemar Cheel(Eagle) ko kya kahte hai???
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Its Ill-Eagle

WHAT IS OBAMA'S MOTHER FAV DIALOGUE??

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ITS MERE PAAS "OBA-MAA"HAIN....
HEHEHE...

when obama shouts what do we call him....????
think.........
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think a lil more....
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hold ur breath...

!!!!
answer is----BARK OBAMA!!!
(COZ HIS NAME IS BARACK OABAMA)

Sparsh ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai.
So he goes to the canteen. Canteen mein Sparsh ek pav leta hai.
Jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.

To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki Sparsh jiska lecture attend karke aa
raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai?



Answer

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The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon.

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....

Ek ladki ke baal straight the,
vo uske ears par girte rehte the, batao kyu?














































kyuki uske ears main baaliyan thi...
so hairs were attracted to them...
(baal straight the so baaliyon pe marte the)

What do u call a cylinder of radius "z" units and height "a" units???

i have an intelligent question to b asked frm evry 1 !!!!


okk. so der v go......

if der r 3 brothers
n the name of the second brother is " PINTOO"

den wat is d name of his other 2 brothers ?????





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aare think a lill bit .
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so here is d answer .
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PIN1 n PIN3.........

Agar "maruti car" ka petrol leak karega toh usse kya kahege??????
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ANS- MARUTI SUSU-KI

Aneet : Oye bansal..... chal bata kutte shaadi kyon nahi karde?


Bansal : hmm..... kyonki.... nahi pata...tu bata...


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Aneet : Kyonki....Woh pehle se hi kutte hote hain.... :P

1)What is the vector form of SRI DEVI?????
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TABU ... WHy? Socho?
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Sri Devi did Chandni and Tabu did Chandni Bar :)


2)Why does a dumb cat fall while walking??

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Coz the cat is dumb so it cant Mew. So Mew(coefficient of friction) is = 0.

So it slips n falls...


3)Agar do pipal ke ped ko rassi se baandh diya jaye to rassi ko kya kahenge?
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NOKIA - "Connecting pipal"...

Journalists at Don Sparsh's house taking his interview..

they enquired him about his

"success ka raaz" ..




he calls Robert.. " Robert bring me a Baaz (a bird, eagle )"

..

Robert immediately brings the baaz..




Sparsh asks Mona to give the baaz a bath ..

Mona carries out his order..



he asks Mona to put the baaz on his hand..



he takes out his gun and shoots the baaz..



and says" yeh hai meri success ka raaz"...




all the journalists are lost..

how come this is your success ka raaz...
In comes the reply

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" Main Dhoke-Baaz ko maar deta hoon .. "

What do u call a three eyed pig...???
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PiiiG. . .!!!

Ek ladka tha,use kabhi pyar nahi hua tha, uske pant ka zip hamesha khula rahta tha kyon?






























































Kyonki
Pyar bina 'chain' kahan re!

Thr r 2 kind of PJs . One s Real n another is Imaginary
U can xpress ur feelings wid d Real one but not Wid Imaginary one ..






Y ?











Coz Real PJ got Poor Jokes



But Imaginary PJ got P + iJ in which " Jokes " part is imaginary..
so u wont get chance to joke it ...

Why did the world trade centre collapse??
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VAASTU PROBLEM!!

What do you call a mathematician who talks too much?
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Hyperbola !!

How do u make a flying cobra land?









































Just say NAGALAND!!!

BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gav birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...




y?






he became



MAMU LEE!

How do u extract IRON ORE frm hema malini???






get her drunk...
then she'll get tight...
now u ve hema-tite!
n now u can xtract iron ore!!

What is Aishwarys Rai's favourite Drink???
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Abhi- "Shake"

Aishwarya Rai ki favourite vegetable kaunsi hai??????
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Its ARBi...
Kno y???
coz its Aishwarya Rai Bachchhan...
so ARB...

Why are Amity students so confused???

Batao...

How many seconds are there in 1 year???

What is one Byte equal to...

Acha Batao...

3 lizards wall pe baithhi thhi....unmein se ek ne gaana chaaalu karaa........jab gaana khatam huaa....2 gir gayiiinn...........bataao kyn??
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bataaaaaao bataaaaoo
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kynki baaki dono taaliyaan bajaane lagiiiin.............

What is the Plural of Shah Rukh Khan????

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady came and asked
him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No
Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was
totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw
another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am
relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab
tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "

A sardar goes to movie with 17 sardars
why?????????????

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coz it was an adult movie n below 18 were not allowed

Arzz hai

Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"

Wah Wah..... Wah Wah

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Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA" ..............

Lafjon ko samjhiye ...... Gaur kijiye

Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"..............
Bahot Khub......

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Bhaijaan - Do hi Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA" ..............

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Mar "JAVA" , Mit "JAVA"

What's this?

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AnekTA me ekTA

A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window.

A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground.

Why?

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Because 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita

A cow is standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'... 'F'...

Why???

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Because F = ma (Newton's Second Law)

Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..

Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.

Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.

Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.

Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.

Kaise???

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Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.

Who is called female Java?

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Java'Gal' Srinath

Raabert : Baas, iss aadmi ne hamaare saath gaddary kee hai..
Ajeet : Iss kuththe ki ek haath mein titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein hmt ki ghadi pehnaado.
Raabert : Lekin baas, yeh to gaddaar hai.
Ajeet replies.......
Ajeet : Hum jaante hain, raabert. Isko bataana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi ka mehmaan hai.

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of
light.
>On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
>
>Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
>Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
>Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan
Grover??
>Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
>
>Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
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>scroll down for the ultimate PJ
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>Further,,,
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>Little further...
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>ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
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what language does crow speaks????????




socho.............






socho..........



socho..................




its english..............
y?
coz.....
it says cow cow cow evrtime....neva says gaye gaye .....

Why doesnt BAA of "Kyuki SAAS BHI........" never die??????














Because...

























Baa - Khuda tumhi ho.......

Truth of life....!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes small things hurts a lott.........





if u don't aggree with me....


den..


TRY N SIT ON A PIN.....
....!

Which 15 letter word begins with A and ends with G and means extreme pain???



























Ans: AAAARRRRHHHHHHG!!!

everyone knows abt salman getiing jailed for killing a deer......but katrina once killedd a horse and an elephant but no one arrested herr telll whyyyy????????????????





























































thinkk guysss




















































any gueeses





































































arey she was playing a game of chesssss

Ek aadmi dentist ke pass gaya or wahan zor zor se hasane laga .........

fir ghar wapas aa gaya kyun?????




































































































kyun ki woh daant dekhane gaya tha

Gadha mithai dekh kar kya sochega???????













































































kash yeh mithai ghass hoti

ek bar santa baraf ko gaur se dekhte rehta hai....

banta: oye!! yeh tu kya gaur karke dekh raha hai...

santa: dekh raha hu ki kaha se leak ho raha hai.....

Wat did Madhuri Dixit tell to Jacob Oram?(That NZ player!)
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Mera piya ghar aaya Oram-ji!

agar aapko jannat film ghar baithe dekhni hai.......or aapki pas sabi film ki dvd/vcd hai
par jannat ki nahi to kya karoge???????





























































simple ishq film dekhna ....kyun ki "yeh ishq haye baithe bithaye jannat dekhaye"........

in an accident a guy losses his memory power......

aur Ice Cream bechne wale usse utha kar le gaye...???????




kyun???????

























Jab usse hosh aya tho woh chillane laga....





MEIN CONE HUN,....



MEIN CONE HUN>>....>>>

girls usually wear watch on rite hand n guys on left... y??????????????
?????????????????????????
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to check the time..............

wht will u call knee of of small child




















soccho








ans:= kidney

wat will a bengali say if some one cuts his phone....??





































socho..







































socha nahi tho socho abhi





















































































Ans:
Kol Kata!!!!!!!

Why an Egyptian child is alwayz so confused??????
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socho sochooo..
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Because after death his father becomes mummy...........

Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main “Internet
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>Explorer” ka zikar kiya
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>hai???
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>Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as Internet
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>If you don’t know…
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>Scroll down for the answer…
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>Scroll further down
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>A bit more
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>The answer is…
Maine Pyar Kiya.
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>And the song goes….
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>Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)
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>Mausam ne lee angada IE
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>To kis baat ki hai lada IE
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>Tu chal…….. Main IE !!!
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